In This Place
by cozmonkey
Summary: Miranda POV. A year into high school and the three friends have drifted and are now leading completely oppsite lives and Miranda is now an invisible girl wondering what went wrong and will things get better? I need feed back please!
1. Chapter 1

How it all changed-chapter 1.

"Eeeew! What the hell is that on your leg Sanchez!" Molly Tucker squealed.  
It was 4th period. Gym, the bain of my fucking life, if thats what you'd call it.

"Fuck of Molly, you know it's a fucking burn!" I scowled proceeding to mutter a venomous insult in spanish.

"Oooh get Sanchez with her attitude. I hardly think you can speak to me like that, lets face it, in the social scheme, I'm light years above you!" She said and like always her possie giggled right along.

Ok so what if it were true. In the last year things had changed. And not how I thought they'd change. I figured right now, a year into high school, I'd be doing not much with my two best friends, maybe with a nice boyfriend and a semi normal home life. Maybe I was wronge. As for the best friends bit I hardly heard from Lizzie at all these days. She'd be off doing her things with her extensive group of friends. Gordo, of Dave as it was now, would be skipping school, in a bush somewhere with some girl, who like me didn't know who she was! Of course if I'd have lived a day in my life now, a year ago. I wouldn't belive it for one second. But as much as for the first few months I had tried to ignor all the shifting happening around me, I couldn't. I had taken to zoneing things out, like when I would walk past Lizzie and rase my hand for a wave and she'd just breeze right on by, going off to be the socilite of the year. I did resent her popularity, I wouldn'd say it out right, but I did. She had got popular and I hadn't. We lived in ultanate universes now I swore! It's not like she ment to ignor me; I had just become the invisible girl, and if I was truthful if I were anyone else I'd find it hard to ever see me, let alone acknowledge. Gordo, well that must have been the weirdest change! I know he's "Dave" now, but no matter how much I try I just cannot call him that! To me he will always be Gordo. Well Gordo went wronge somewhere, I think it must have been all the pressure exurted on him in the start of high school. Everyone expected BIG things out of Mr. David Gordon. But, pressure proved too much, I don't blame him really. Anyway now Gordo had become a massive stoner and would not even do an ounce of work let alone all the extra credit he used to take on. Sceretly I think he was pretty curshed when we all started to drift, but I suppose he didn't want to become the friend of our group who ended up like me; Which I can relate to.

"Shit!" I exclamed, wacking my elbow on my gym locker.

"Having problems Sanchez." Molly distinked, annoying voice, loomed behind me.

And I thought Kate had been bad, she had been meir childs play compared to this!  
High school girls were big, bitcher and could ruin your life in a few sentences.

Note: Ahh hope people like it. Review if you feel inclined, critism is welcome also as it's semi constructive. I'm sorry about spelling, it can be pretty crappy alot of the time. So yeah I hope it entertained you even if breifly, and I'll write more if there seems to be intrest. thanks... 


	2. Chapter 2

When life give you the bad deal.

"Hun, is that you?" My mothers voice carryed across the open yard to where I sat.

"Yes mom, its me." I shighed wishing it weren't.

"Well dinners almost ready, rember I need you to babysit tonight. That's not a problem right?" My mother questioned. Like it would be, it's not like I have a social life or anything.

"Yeah mom, that's fine." I replyed woefully.

I took a deep breath.The cool breezy April we were experiencing was blissful. I loved it when it was like this, cool but not cold and walm but in a comferting way, not a over powering heat that made your brain hurt; and you body feel like it had been drained of all fluids. I swung slowly on our swing, it creaked, reminding me of its age. Things like a swing can remind you of alot. It's something old, you associate with something; In my case I associated with Lizzie and Gordo. We spent whole summers on this old thing. There would always be a race across my yard for who would get the swing seat, of course it was usualy me or Lizzie that won, poor Gordo. The other two would sit around it and we'd talk abd laugh, usualy about what high school would be like, of course none of us knew the truth behind the matter, we all thought we'd be best friends for life, the three amigos going to high school, that's how we thought it would be. Of course things inevitably change. Children grow-up, and the small things we used to do, make way for other things and I suppose it effects different people differently. I wonder sometimes, sitting out here, the breeze upon my face; If Lizzie or Gordo ever think about us, all of us together,on this swing and those long hot summers and all the times we had together. But then I brush that thought off, as I highly doubt they do. As it is they have new friends, new things, new everything. And me, well I don't.

"Ok hun, Marta's phone numbers on the fridge, call if you need anything. I've left $10 on the table in case of emergancy, ok?"

"Yeah mom." I said half heartedly.

"Good, well then I'll see you and your sister tomorrow probably." she said kissing me on the forhead no doubt leaving a large red lip stick mark. I scowled.  
"Mom, stop it! It will be fine! Now go!" I said irratably, she looked a bit hurt, I felt kind of bad.

"Ok ok I know your a big girl now. I just...well, it doesn't matter." She gave me one of her, oh my god my daughters growing up look. When she had finally pottered off to say goodbye to my little sister, I tried to reconcentrate myself on the program I had been watching; But it was no good. I heaved my self off the couch and turned off the TV. The door slamed Finally a bit of peace and quite I thought as I streched and gave a big yawn. Oh god! why was I yawning on a Friday night! For gods sake Miranda you NEED to get a life! I thought.

"Miranda, I wanna get a movie out!" My annoying little sister screeched.

"With what money?" I snapped.

"With the money mom and dad left!"

"No! That moneys for emergancys only." I said seriously.

"Miiiirraaaannnnnddaaaa! Why do you have to be so BOOOOORING?" She yelled! That was it, something snapped.

"I AM NOT, I REPEAT AM NOT, BORING!" I shouted, she looked stunned.  
I grabbed her hand, snached up the $10 note from the table, slipped my feet into my sandles and shoved my keys into my pocket. I slamed the door behind us. I knew my sister we secretly a bit scared at my out burst, but I hated the thought of being boring!

"So what Movie do you want?" I asked her standing in frount of rows and rows of colourful DVD's.

"I don't know." She said. I gave her a little friendly push

"Well go find one you like and bring it back here ok and we'll get it." I smiled at her little face gazing up at me.

"Ok!" She smiled and skipped off.

Well I suppose spending my Friday night with my little sister wasn't so bad, anyway its not like anyone would come up to me on Monday and say "Hey Miranda what did you do Friday night then?" So I figured I was ok there.

"SHIT!" I exclaimed when some one stepped on my toe.

"Oh hey sorry!" I glanced up to find the face of the voice.

I raised my eyebrows at him, or the big pile of DVD's that he was behind.

"That hurt." I said matter-of-factly.

"Sorry, wait a minute, let me put these down." He said lowering the DVD's down on the counter beside us. Now I could see his face properly I saw that he actually wasn't that bad looking. He had slightly more hair then if his head had just been shaved, he was tall and quite musculur, he had a long nose and full lips. What was most intresting was his eyes; One seemed to be blue and the other one green.

"Hi, sorry about that, I can be a bit careless." He smiled, it was a nice smile, the kind of smile that was a cheeky yet depthful smile.

"That's ok I suppose." I said feeling a bit gob smacked, I had thought it would have been one of those computer geek guys.

"I work here you know, maybe I could give you free rental of a DVD to say sorry." He grined.

"That would be nice." I smiled back. This was my one asset, I could be cool around guys who I thought were hot. Lizzie used to turn into complete jelly where as I would always keep my cool. I suppose one of my main reasons for still being able to do it was because I figured not many guys I thought were hot would go for me. At the begining of high school all the guys seemed to go for Lizzie and not me, so I got used to always being upstaged by someone, I suppose.

"I'm Rueben." He said guesturing to his name tag. Obvliously he worked here.

"Ok." I said feeling slight cautious, not many guys introduced themseleves to me.

"and you are...?" he asked grinning at my stupidity, of course that was a cue for me to give him my name.

"Oh right, sorry, Miranda." I grinned sheepishly.

"Miranda, nice name." he said musing at my name.

"ditto." I replyed making a mental note to kick myself later.

He laughed.

"So you work here." I said, god dammit!

"Yeah." he laughed "are you from around here?" he asked

"Yeah, about 10 minutes away, you?" I inquired.

"Yeah just down the street in fact." He said, looking straight at me, I felt uncomftable, I could never tell what people were thinking when they looked straight at me, it was a feeling of what if they size me up all wrong. I felt slightly panicked.

"Oh right, I havn't seen you around, do you go to hillridge high?" I asked looking at my feet.

"Yeah, well no, I am, but I just havn't got round to enrolling yet. With moving in and all, I've been pretty busy." He said completely comftably, he was just so confident about everything, I wondered how someone could just be completely comftable just talking to a random stranger, hell I couldn't!

"Miranda." My sister said tugging at my sleeve.

"Yeah?" I turned to her.

"I got a movie!" She said, looking immensely proud of her self.

"Ok." I said.

"I'll ring that up for you Miss Sanchez." Said Rueben, looking at my rental card. He grinned. I smiled back.

"Thankyou Mr..Taylor." I replyed look at his name tag.

"That will be..on my pay check." He grinned at me, then made a little sad face "Sorry about your foot." He grinned again.

"That's ok." I said grabbing the video and my card off the counter.

"Bye Miranda." He shouted after me.

"Bye Rueben." I shouted over my shoulder.

"Who was he Randa?" Asked my little sister.

"I dunno." I said. But I liked him.

Note: Hey, hope this chapter was liked. Thank you to my one review. lol not complaining, it was a lovely reveiw! Anyway, I don't want this story to become to cliche, like Miranda falls in love and he loves her and then shes happy again. Because those kind of stories can be annoying. So just so people know there are going to be a few "twist" as it were, later on I just thought I'd better introduce my character Rueben early on, so it doesn't become just Miranda moaning about her life ect... so yeah. Review if you feel so inclined.  
thanks 


	3. Chapter 3

Wondering where.

It was ugly, so ugly. I forced myself to consentrate on it. The reddish mutalated skin staired back at me. I remember that night I had been "blessed" by God so vividly. I had been in Mexico, stay with my Aunt and Uncle. Then everything was distroyed and I was in the middle of it, litraly. The whole house went up in flames and I we stuck in that living hell all by myself for half an hour; the longest half an hour of my life. The doctor said that is was a blessing I had come out alive with just a burn, till this day my mother still said that God had blessed me.That's why I have this big ugly burn consuming my leg. I hate it so bad sometimes it makes me physicaly sick.  
I glance at my clock. 3:15. I shigh. I'm not good at sleeping, I never have been. Lately it's been worse, I just can't seem to clear my head of thought, they seem to just race around in my head, taunting me and making me restless. My floors cold but the nights humid; The humidity makes me even more restless. I decided to go get a drink.

I tiptoe down the stairs as quitely as possible, as my parents room is right opposite them. I step delicately avoiding all of my sisters toys strune across the floor, like a mine feild.  
The kitchens a welcome site, the fridge makes it usual wirring noise, the tap drips every few seconds and my feet make a tapping noise as I walk across the lino floor to the stainless steel tap.  
I sit down in the hard backed wooden chair, placing my glass on the wooden table, it makes a hollow sounds, I feel hollow.  
I like the slience of everything, it's like when people are around everything becomes active and noisy but once everyones gone and your the only one left, they seem to stop and noise cesses, I like that.  
Sitting here I think of everything. I always think best at night. Then my thought shift to Rueben. Why I don't know. Who was he even? and why would he choose to take an intrest in me? the inviable girl . Then of course like it always does my thoughts travel back to Gordo and Lizzie. I offtend wonder what they're doing. I imagin Lizzie's at someone's party or maybe at her boyfriend Eric's house. Gordo, well I imagin he too is at a party most likely pastout or in a bed with some girl.  
I remember the last time we were together as the three amigos'. It was a the second week into high school. It was a Friday night, we always used to meet up on Friday nights, it was a ritual we swore we would alway carry on.

It was my turn to host and I got the opinion if I hadn't of reminded Lizzie of it then she wouldn't have come. They both came round at about 7ish and we all sat down on my couch in our usual places, but this time it was different, there was tension in the air, we all sensed it. There was a long akward silence, that had never ever happend before that evening. Lizzie broke it.

"Hey so I met a really nice guy in math today." She said, trying her best to not let her tone slip into boredom.

"Oh really." Said Gordo, to tell the truth I think he was pretty crushed that Lizzie and him hadn't started dating after Rome. I think he thought that kiss they shared ment more than just Lizzie's pitty. I felt bad for him. He resembled a lost puppy.

"Yeah do I know him?" I asked

"Oh Miranda, No sorry I wouldn't have thought you would, he's one of Adele's friends." The way Lizzie said it I don't think she ment for it to sound mean, but it did. It sounded like No Miranda you wouldn't know him because I'm now popular and you're not.

That was the last Friday night we spent together and in fact the last time were all in a room together voluntarily. The next week it was ment to be at Lizzie's but she cancled because she got invited to a party she "simply could not miss!" In her words.Then the next week Gordo and Lizzie just didn't show up. After that I couldn't be bothered try and Lizzie and Gordo just didn't seem to care that much anymore.

As time went on Lizzie became miss social and Gordo managed to make friends with Theo; a boy who sat at the back of the class red eyed and completely mashed out of his head, thats is if he came to lessons. And soon enough Gordo or "Dave" as it became followed suit. Then there was just me left, with not a friend to my name except Ian the A.V geek who would follow me around when ever he could, though he soon realised I was 1. never going to go out with him and 2. never going to get out of this rutt I was in. I missed my friends' and my old life. I just missed being me. Friends make us and break us; and can leave you wondering where everything went wrong. 


	4. Chapter 4

note from me to christylee: Hello, thank you for your advice, I shall look into reformatting, my whole spelling issue I didn't consider that much of an issue you, but well obviously I was wrong, lol sorry I know that sounds really bitchy but I couldn't think of another way to put it :P but yeah, my problem on that whole issue is that the only document FF will seem to except is one on note pad and blaah that doesn't have spell check. So yeah. That is my technical issue, that and I'm just shit at spelling. Can anyone tell me though if they have like real difficulty reading it because of the spelling? But yes. Thank you for reviewing not many people seem to be, but that all well and good anyway this have been way too long! so yeah.  
When life throws you a bone.

Monday mornings how I loathe thee. My alarm clock goes off at 6:30. I'm NOT good with mornings. Bleary eyed and still not awake I stumble into the bathroom to have my morning shower.  
I can't say I exactly hate my body because I don't I just disapprove of bits and bobs here and there. My stomachs got a little bit of weight I will admit, but its not obese type of weight; I'd class my self as curvy, I have never been as skinny as Lizzie, I used to dislike it; but well now, its not like many people take and interest and on a more positive not I have come to accept that I will never be a skinny girl.

I pull on my jeans, they're old and have rips in the knee, it's not even like I brought them with rips in, it is just purely because they're old! I pull on my Ramones T-shirt and my black converses. I quickly pull a brush through my wet hair and put on some eye liner and lip gloss. I don't doll myself up as much as I used to, partly because I'd have to get up at lest half an hour before I already do, and that's unthinkable and undoable. I glance at my self in the mirror giving myself a nod of approval, I don't look that bad.

"Morning Miranda." My father says as he passes me on the stairs.

"Hi dad." I say cheerily.

"You sound happy this morning, any reason?" He grins at me.  
"Do I have to have a reason to be happy." I grin back.

"Oh no, it's just nice to know my daughters not always a sulky teenager." he teases.

"Dad!" I roll my eyes.

I'm late for the bus as usual. As I run up it pulls away and I see the grinning faces of all the people in the back, I make a rude gesture and sit down heavily on the bus seat. What do I do now? I think, I hate missing the bus. All the kids with cars drive past and pretend they don't see me, and I have to walk the 4 miles to school. I sigh and contemplate skipping school today, it hardly seems worth it.

I carry on thinking of what I would do with a whole day off when my thoughts are interrupted.

"Miranda, hey." I hear a voice over my shoulder, I look round and there he is. Gordo.

"Gordo, hi." I say in shock as you can imagine.

"Ummm actually it's Dave now." he said grinning and sitting down next to me.

"Oh yeah sorry I remember." I said with yet another sigh.

"I didn't class you as a skipper Sanchez." He laughs, but in a nice, Gordo way.

I laugh. "I'm not, I missed the bus." I grin sheepishly feeling a bit foolish.

"Still as unorganised as you were in middle school I see." He laughs.

"Yeah, I guess, I wish I wasn't, make my life so much easier." I say more to myself than him.

"Well since you're here and I'm here you fancy going to get so breakfast?" He glanced at me, his hair looking as messy and curly as it used to.

I contemplated this for a while. I either take this opportunity and find out more about Gordo. Or I walk the 4 miles to school and have a rotten time and probably never speak to Gordo again. I choose the first option, figuring I will have plenty of time to catch up seeing as I have a nonexistent social life.

I nod

"Ok." I say confidant that I have made the right choice.

"Great I'm starving, and I know just the place." He concludes happily at his own geniuses.  
So there we are in the Green café. Me feeling out of place and Gordo looking like he's at home with his large hippy family. There are loads of people here, the fact that it's nine in the morning doesn't seem to bother them.

"What can I get you?" a girl with dread locks and few dozen piercing ask us.

"chi tea for me please." says Gordo giving the girl a broad smile.

"Ummm a black coffee please?" I ask uncertain if I'll get a old hippy picking me up on my caffeine addiction. The girl nods in response and walks off.

"This place seems nice." I say awkwardly, I mean how do you start a conversation with your old best friend you haven't talked to properly in about a year? 

"Yeah I like to hang out here, it's a nice environment you know, like you feel like no ones' gunna judge you. It's like reliving." He smiles at me.

"Yeah I get that." I say softly, I do feel at ease here, it's like a strange feeling of acceptance.

"So Miranda, tell me, how is you life since, well you know." He says and I get the distinked feeling there tension filling the air above us. I make the disession on impuls to clear it, it's now or never I figure.

"Gordo, I mean Dave." good start I think. "I don't hate you for what happened and I hope you don't hate me." I say, I felt relived.

"Miranda, I was really hoping one of us would get up the guts to say something and I had the feeling it wasn't going to be me." He grinned "As for hating you that's ludicrous, It was basically my fault we all broke up in the first place." He sighs. "I suppose I was upset about Lizzie and well I thought you and her would just get swept up in people loving you and I…well I'd just get forgotten as I always seemed to. So I distanced myself from you both, I suppose it was a safety net, so that I didn't get hurt in the end; But well, and you can kick me if it's not true, but I get the impression you're the one who has had the worse deal out of all of us." He said looking at me and biting his lip.

I felt a surge of emotions, I felt angry, angry that he was basically implying I was a loner. I felt happy that he had thought I would get popular and I felt relaxed, as now I felt I knew where I stood. 


	5. Chapter 5

My naivety.

We sat in that café for a long time, we talked about everything, everything except what had happened to our friendship; when ever I would broach the subject Gordo would quickly change the subject. 

"So Miranda, how's your life going?" He asked.

"Well ok I suppose, what about yours?" I asked actually curious about where life had taken the David Gordon.

"Not far really…" He trailed off. "So how are your parents?" He and I used to share a annoyance with our parents.

"They're ok I suppose, my sisters getting in my way though, it just annoys me how she leaves all her stuff lying around I swear…." Now I trailed off, I had glanced up at Gordo to see he was rolling a joint! Now I didn't want to seem like an old woman, but it shocked me, I had never been around this before. I didn't really want him to know I was slightly shaken but by the way I looked, apparently it wasn't hard to tell my thoughts.

"Hey, don't worry." He said. "They're cool about this kind of stuff." He said, licking the Rizla.

"Oh no I'm not worried." I exclaimed trying to sound as cool as possible.

"Miranda." He grinned give me his know all Gordo look.

"Ok so maybe I am a bit. It's just well….odd, that's all." I started to fiddle with the sugar packet remaining from my coffee.

"You know I never meant for thing to end up like this." He said the joint clenched in his lips.

"How do you mean?" It seemed like an odd thing to say, to me. I had to consider if he meant he hadn't meant to be in this café with me, or if he hadn't meant from our friendship to drift.

"Well." He started, then stopped to cuss a bit while routing around his bag I supposed for his lighter. Once he had retrieved it, which took a little while, he carried on. "Well." He said sparking up and taking a deep drag. "I just never meant for us to not be friends." he leaned back and took another couple of drags.

"Us, or you, me and Lizzie?" I questioned, for some reason I really wanted him to just say me and him.

"You and me." He said sitting up and flicking some ask into the ashtray.

"Really?" I said genuinely surprised.

"Yeah, you sound surprised." he looked at me with interest.

"Oh, well, no it's just, nah its stupid." I replied embarrassed.

"No, it does Miranda, please." He said

"Ok well I just thought that you may have missed Lizzie more than me." I replied feeling foolish, because he probably did.

"Miranda truth be told, I really liked Lizzie." My heart fell, I knew he had missed Lizzie more than me.

"Oh" I said.

"No but I got over her in the summer and in high school I just couldn't put up with her. I mean she was always wining and it felt like I was going to tare my hair out ever time she spoke. I just couldn't look at her the same." He said, he looked sad and alone. I felt bad because I know how much that kiss had meant to him, and how little it had meant to Lizzie. 

I looked at my shoes unsure what to say after his little out burst. "Hey Miranda sorry about that, but I meant it." He smiled and offered me the joint. "Oh sorry, I suppose you don't smoke. Do you want to try?" He asked. I contemplated this in my head briefly.

"No." I said. "Maybe some other time. Just well, I don't feel comftable here you know?"

"Yeah, yeah sure." He laughed. "well you know I'm not saying it's a good thing to get into, it can just relive tension at times, it can be helpful." He grinned, stubbing out the remainder of his joint.

Walking home in the dusky evening light, I recalled all the events of today. It had certainly been better than school. Gordo had told me he would call me soon. I hoped he would.

Life felt good that night, I felt good. My sister didn't even annoy me so much.

"Miranda, can you go down to the store for me, we're running out of food!" my mothers shrill voice said over the television.

"Yeah, yeah." I replied trying to see past her large backside to "When animals go mad."

"Miranda, are you even listening to me?" She put her hands on her hips, and I gave up any hope of trying to see my program, as she began to shout at me in Spanish about how I had no respect for her or anyone else and how I should listen to my mother. The she got all teary eyed and started talking about how she must have failed as a parent.

So off I went whilst my father comforted her. I burried my hands in my pockets, it was cooler that usual tonight. I shivered. It had been an odd day. I was slight apprehensive to going home. I thought for some strange reason my parents would know I had skipped today; of course they didn't, I still felt just as paranoid.

I slowly ambled around the store, picking up the bread and other such items my mother had asked for.

As I made my way to the counter I suddenly saw a familiar face. It was Rueben! Of all people to see looking like I did now, it had to be him. I tucked my self away in the canned food isle. 

This is stupid I thought to myself, it's not like I should care what he thinks! I sighed knowing I would have to go and pay for this stuff some way or another. I had a sudden and horrid thought. What if he didn't recognize me?

Note: Oooh cliff hanger, or I just couldn't be bothered to write anymore. I have been getting feed back, thanks for that, not all of it terrible positive :P but that's ok I suppose. Anywho feed backnice! I might stop updating till I get enough reviews. I lie, that would be mean and I just enjoy writing when I should be doing English essays. But yes, I hope that the last two chapaters have been better spelling quality as it were. My grammar I thought was ok, but aparently not. Anyway spelling should have been a tab better. Yeah this is to long, I reckon that you should find it in your hearts to review :D because you'd make me happy and I would give you a cookie. Thanks me 


	6. Chapter 6

The waffle situation.

I had two options. 1. I could put back everything and run away with my tail between my legs. Or options 2. I could just go up there pay and be friendly and hope he recognized me.

Of course, I chose 2. Well it was less a matter of logic and more a matter of my mother being "disappointed" in me for not getting the groceries .

I took a deep intake of air and stepped out of the tinned food isle. He wasn't there! Where had he gone? I had the stupid and sickening thought that maybe he had seen me and was avoiding me. I shrugged this off with my logic mind and decided maybe it was better this way.

Walking back out into the dusky light I could help but feel some what disappointed. I had known that I wanted to see him again, but like always I had screwed up my chance. Now I would probably never see him again.

Lost in my thought as usual I walked away from the grocery store.  
Suddenly I heard a screech, I looked round and there was a car speeding down the road heading right for me. I stood there like a rabbit in head lights. The car showed no signs of stopping; I tried to move, but I couldn't, I was paralysed. Then I felt something hard hit me and the next thing I knew I was tumbling down a grassy slope with someone on top of me. 

The next few minutes were something of a blur. I was shaking uncontrollable. I felt someone shake me and ask if I was alright. I still felt completely paralysed and my vision was blurry. I felt hot liquid spill down my face, and my vision cleared. It was then I realised I was crying, and what I had thought was a car that had hit me, was actually a person.

I concentrated my focus on the person who had saved my life most probably. It was him.

"Rueben." I muttered still feeling confused and shaken.

"Miranda. Are you ok? Can you see me?" He bombarded me with questions. All I could do was shake and cry. A large crowd had gathered at the top of the grass bank we had fallen down. Some people were making there way down to where I lay. In the distance I could hear ambulance sirens.

I sat still on the step of the ambulance. I had stopped crying but could still not stop shaking.

"You were lucky that boy was there to push you out of the way young lady." Said the paramedic putting a blanket round my shoulders. I nodded. I was, I knew I was.

Some one pressed a cup of tea into my hands.

"Complements of your local grocers." I knew that voice. I glanced up and there stood Rueben smiling his warm smile.

"You saved…." I managed to choke out

"Miranda are you ok?" He questioned looking concerned.

"She in shock." Said a paramedic over my shoulder.

"Is there anything I can do?" He asked.

"No son, I'd just leave her alone, if I were you." He sighed and turned to go.

"No!" I exclaimed. "Stay please." My lip quiver as I said it, I just had this uncontrollable need for him to stay with me. I guessed my parents would be here any second and I wanted him with me.

"Ok. Sure, I mean if you want me to?" He asked.

"Yes." I shuffled over on the step so he could sit down. He sat down and put his head in his hands. "You scared me, you know. When you weren't talking I was scared I'd killed you or something." He glanced up at me.

"I'm sorry." I said staring into my tea cup. I could feel the tears welling up, I felt like I might explode. I could feel the tears spilling down my face now. I felt his warm hand over my cold lifeless one laying on my lap.

"No, don't be. I'm just glad your not dead." He said. He looked like he might cry now. I gripped his hand tighter.

I woke up. Everything, all of last night, the car, the ambulance and Rueben came rushing back to me. I felt complete exhaustion just thinking about it.

"Morning baby, how are you feeling?" My mother poked her head round the door and made a concerned face at me.

"Ok I suppose." I replied staring at the flaking paint on my ceiling. 

"Do you want some waffles? I could make you some?" She asked. I remember she always made me waffles when something bad had happened. She made me waffles the day my Grandma died; and the day I had been cast as sheep number 4 in the nativity play, when I had wanted to be Mary. When ever she mentioned making waffles I either concluded something bad had happened she was going to break to me later, or felt a urge to lock myself away for a couple of years.

"No thanks mom. I'm not that hungry." I said. I was, I felt like I could eat a horse, dramatic experiences do that to you. But I didn't want waffles not today at lest.

Note: Well its short I know :P But I hope it was satisfactory. I'm getting slightly stumped for ideas as to what should happen next, so ideas and comments would be greatly appreciated and all that palaver. So yeah tell me how spelling is and all. I didn't really feel this chapter was up to scratch really, but meh, I wanted this kind of thing to happen, but I thought my text was a bit wooden and all. So yeah. Ideas would be ace. Thanks in advance :P mexxxx 


	7. Chapter 7

Note: You guys are lovely lovely readers! Thanks sooo much for your input on story lines Christylee. My original plan was to work it so Gordo and Rueben know each other, like they have some kind of odd connection. My main problem when I wrote the last chapter was I felt things might go stale in the story, which my stories often tend to. But yeah I really like the idea of them liking the same girl ect and the behind the video store scene is brilliance, I may well work that one in there. One of my problems is I don't want it to be to predictable, and I'm unsure as to whether I should include Lizzie yet, I had some ideas of when and how I would include her, but maybe I should add her in sooner? What does everyone think?

I had not been to school for a week. It felt like I was in a rut. I just knew as soon as I went back to school life would go back to normal. I would return to being the invisible girl who know one noticed and I would watch Lizzie living the life I had wanted and Gordo, well, he still hadn't called, I was beginning to think he just wouldn't.

"Hun are you sure you feel up to going to school today?" My mother asked cautiously. I nodded I could muster up the strength to say yes because personal I wanted to say no and run back to my room and stay there for the next few weeks. But I knew if I didn't do this now, I wouldn't do it at all.

"Ok." She sighed "I'll drive you." with that she left me to busy her self with my sister no doubt.

The school was roaming with people. It felt overwhelming.

"Are you sure your ready for this Miranda, we can go home if you like?" My mothers concern was getting on my nerves. It was tempting to go home I admit, but I knew I had to do this.

"No." I said firmly. "I will be fine mom, I'll see you when I get home." I got out of the car not wanting her persuading me out of this.

I had only not been in for a week, but it felt like a lifetime.

"Boo." I jumped and spun round.

"Hey Gordo, sorry I mean Dave." I said smiling.

"I heard about what happened, I was going to call, but well.. Something happened." He said nervously. I didn't blame him for not calling me.

"No worries." I said. "So hey, me and some friends are meeting up after school, it would be really cool if you came." He said beaming at me like a 100 watt bulb. "I want you to meet them." He added.

"Um well if you don't mind me tagging along." I was secretly ecstatic, the fact Gordo actually wanted to include me in his social life was really quite a big step for me.

"No, no, I really think it would be cool if you came. I want you all to meet. Anyway I best be off, I said I'd meet some people down the field. Meet me after school by the entrance. Ok?" He smiled. I loved his smile.

"Yeah, sounds good." I was trying my hand at being pretty blasé so he didn't know how excited I was.

"Ok in a bit Miranda." He smile and walked off into the distance, bobbing his head to his music.

School was boring as ever. The principle had a chat with me about the accident. And some people I vaguely knew would come up and ask me what happened. Lizzie didn't though. I was just wishing the time away so it could be the end of school and I could meet Gordo.

Final the end of school bell rang. In my high school whenever the bell went you could almost hear the sigh of relief from everyone. There was the usual mad rush of students trying to get the hell out of the school. I was slightly nervous that he may not show, but as soon as I stepped out I was greeted by Gordo's enthusiastic wave.

"Hey Miranda over here!" He waved me over to the group he was sitting with under the large oak tree. I was nervous now. I thought it would just be me and him for a while, and the people he was with seemed slightly dodgy, or they had always appeared slightly dodgy. I recognised some of them. There was Theo Barton, who was the boy Gordo first made friends with. He was in my math class, but he barely came. There was a girl called Jen Harding, who used to come to my English class occasional. And I recognised another guy called Jimmy Harris, who most people knew as the local dealer.

"Guys this is Miranda." Gordo said as I came and awkwardly stood by him. I got some vague hellos and sups but that was ok with me, it meant I didn't have to start awkward conversation.

"So hey, we were gunna head back to Theo's. Dave, you and Maria wanna join us?" Said one of the girls sat by Jimmy. "Uh its Miranda actually." I corrected her, not sure if this was a good move.

"Oh right sorry." The girl said vaguely before turning back to Gordo.

"Yeah, sure. Miranda do you want to come?" He said turning to me.

"Yeah sure." I smiled. I liked being included, but I couldn't shake the awkwardness of it all. However Gordo seemed perfectly unaware of this awkward tension I was sensing. Maybe I was just being paranoid.

I was grateful as Gordo hung back with me a little bit while we walked to Theo's.

"So I heard some guy saved your life?" Gordo said smoking a cigarette casually. Of course I would have never thought Gordo would smoke cigarettes, he was so against them before.

"Yeah. I was lucky he did, I couldn't seem to move when I saw the car and he pushed me out of the way. " I sighed, remembering it just drained me mentally.

"God, that must have been weird. I mean knowing you were so close to death." He shuddered. "That's some heavy stuff man." he squinted his eyes at me through the sun light.

"Yeah, I know, my mom was pretty freaked out." I replied.

"Yeah I can imagine. So who was this guy?" He questioned. Of some reason the thought of bring up Rueben with Gordo made me feel uncomftable.

"Oh just a guy." I said vaguely, racking my brains for something to change the subject with.

"So, what happened?" I asked thinking back to when he said that something had come up.

"What?" He questioned.

"Earlier you mentioned something came up that why you couldn't call." I explained, yet I felt like it may come across as me interrogated him as to why he didn't call.

"Oh right, it's nothing, really, just well family issues." He sighed and looked at his feet. I knew something was up, but I decided it may be a bad idea to pursue it. We walked in silence for a while. But this time it wasn't awkward, it just felt like things had never changed between us. That was the thing we me and Gordo, I always felt we had a deeper connection that him and Lizzie and even me and Lizzie. It was unexplainable really. We just didn't need to talk to feel comftable. Lizzie would always just ramble on and on if there were any gaps in conversation like this. But with me and Gordo, we seem to be happy just to sit with each others company.

We talked about random things for the rest of the way. It was funny. It really felt like things hadn't changed, I almost forgot about the fact that thing had changed for a while. 

Theo's house was pretty big really, you would have associated this home with one of the popular jocks maybe, not really with a stoner who wore ripped jeans and never seemed to have a clean T-shirt on. It was a nice house, I would have just never thought it would have been home to such a dirty person.

The group had got considerably smaller on the way here, there was about 20 when we left school now there was 7 of us. We all piled into Theo's basement, it seemed to be his room.

Once the light was on, I glanced around absorbing my surroundings. It was a large basement, there were loads of posters on the walls of bands like: The clash, Ramones, Scandal and various other bands that I had never heard of. There were old instruments laying around; a broken drum kit was strewn around the room and amps and guitars with broken stings were casual scattered. The were two 4 seater brown, mouldish looking sofas which ever one was piling on. I perched on the arm of the cleanest looking one.

"Anyone want a beer?" The girl I recognized as Jen Harding said as she opened the refrigerator behind us. There were various yes's and no's. She chucked one at me. "Here." She said and opened it for me.

"Oh um, no thanks I.." I said attempting to hand the beer back. She laughed.

"Don't worry about it." She winked at me. "Hey I know you, your in my English class right?" She said concentrating on opening her beer. "Yeah, I think I am." I said. I liked the fact someone was talking to me, as Gordo seemed to be engrossed in a conversation with the girl who had got my name wrong.

"Suck right?" She took a sip of her beer.

"Yeah." I fiddled with the label on the beer bottle. I thought because of my completely unstimulating answer she would wonder off and talk to someone else, but instead she said "So how do you know Dave, I bet you're an ex right?" She grinned. I laughed at this.

"No, we used to be really good friends, but well, we drifted and stuff." I was starting to feel more comftable. I took a sip of my beer. I had always liked the taste of beer.

"Really, and here I was thinking Dave was a complete loner before he met us." She grinned and said it loud enough so Gordo could look round. He threw a pillow at her.

"Fuck off." He laughed and went back to his conversation.

I talked to Jen for a while, she was actually a really interesting person. After a while some more people became involved in our conversation and I got introduced to a few more people. Gordo eventually drifted over.  
"Hey." whispered in my ear "You fancy going for a walk." I nodded although I was enjoying the conversation I decided that Gordo need me more.

We stepped out on to Theo's roof.

"Dave, it's gunna break!" I said anxiously.

"No its not Miranda." He laughed. "We have had 17 people on this roof before and its been fine!" He reassured me and grabbed my hand as I climbed through the window. We sat down once I felt stable and Gordo got out his weed and a pipe.

"It was getting a bit stuffy in there for me, and Theo had told me my ex was going to arrive in a bit…" He trailed off, but it had sounded like he had wanted to say more.

"Your ex?" I glanced at him, he was holding the pipe and weed but looking out in to the distance like a lost child.

"Yeah." He said after a while. "Em. We went out briefly, but she broke it off for some other guy."

"Did you know him?" I asked.

"Yeah a bit, not very well. But anyway, that was five months ago or so." He said snapping out of his daze.

"So why do you still avoid her?" I felt a bit bad saying it straight out.

"Well. I don't really need her drama to tell the truth, or her pity." He said filling the pipe.

" Really, or is it too painful." I could have kicked myself, I really shouldn't have said that.

"Look leave it will you." He said, not unkindly, but just like he was worn out. I nodded.

"Sorry." I said after a few minutes.

"That's ok, I would go into it more, but well. I'm just so tired of it all now." He said lighting the pipe.

"Ok well, if you want to…" I trailed off.

The armour from the pipe was sweet and smelt vaguely of tobacco. I knew that I shouldn't want to, but I did, I wanted to try it. There was so much hype around weed and I just wanted to try it for myself.

"Can I try it?" I asked. He looked at me in a concerned manner.

"Are you sure. I mean, it's not addictive, it's just I know you didn't feel comftable. I want you to feel comftable." He said look at me straight on. It was sweet of him to care.

"Yes." I said "I do feel comftable."

"Ok." He smiled and handed me the pipe. I suddenly realised I had no idea what to do. I was happy I was only with Gordo, so I didn't look like a complete fool. He laughed "It's simple, just suck on that end, then treat it like air." He smiled bring his legs up to his chest.

So I did. I coughed of course, I felt a bit embarrassed.

"Don't worry, first times always like that, you always choke!" He grinned at me. "Look." He took the pipe and toked on it and showed me how to keep it in and let it out gradually. So I followed his instructions. About five minutes later I was in hysterics. It was so funny, everything was so funny.

"You know, I like laughing." I giggled. He laughed too

"I can tell. Fuck me you're so fucking mashed Miranda!" He said re-lighting the pipe. "Shhhh!" I giggled.

We sat there for about half an hour. By the end of it Gordo was as mashed as me and we were having what he said was stoned conversation. We talked about toasters, sheep and lamp post.

"I'm hungry Dave." I wined and grabbed his arm.

"Ahh! The munchies!" He said laughing, "Come on then miss let go get some munch." I laughed.

My attempt at standing up was terrible I fell right back down and began laughing hysterically.

"Ok Miranda. Now, were both completely kained so we need to be sensible." He said hoisting me up and leading me back to the window. I tripped climbing back it and twisted my ankle. "Fuck!" I exclaimed.

"Shit are you ok?" He said kneeing beside me.

"Yeah, help me up ok" I said. He grabbed my arm and put it over his shoulder. With his support I limbed down the stairs and back into the basement.

"Hey Dave, where you been?" Said Theo passing us on the stairs. "To the roof top garden." He laughed. "Look at you two you stoners!" He laughed and carried on walking.

"Hey, where is the ice cream?" Gordo asked after rummaging around in the freezer.

"Fraser ate it." Someone said.

"Fuck you Fraser!" Laughed Gordo.

"You and Dave piss off and get mashed?" Laughed Jen sitting beside me on the sofa.

I giggled nervously. "Yes. Sorry."

"That ok." She laughed.

"Hey guys, guess who showed up." I heard Theo's voice coming down the stairs.

"Who?" Jen said.

"Rueben himself." I froze. Rueben? My Rueben?

Note: Oooh! Is it? No one knows! He he. It's been a long chapter :P Hope it isn't getting stale! Tell me what you think :D Thanks Meeeee! 


	8. Chapter 8

A walk home.

I sank into the brown mouldy sofa. For some reason every fibre in my body hated the idea of Rueben seeing me like this.

I hadn't talked to him since the night of the accident, what on earth was I meant to even say?!

"Hey thanks for saving my life I owe you." ? I mean what the fuck?

"Rueben!" Jen exclaimed.

And surely enough he immerged into the basement. His eyes met mine as Jen ran over to him kissing him passionately on the lips.

Fuck. Was my initial thought. It was annoying because I had really liked Jen, but now it was obvious to me that her and Rueben were together or whatever.

"Hey babe, what's up?" He said smiling down at her, as she was considerable shorter than him.

I looked away quickly, this was already embarrassing enough, knowing I had truly thought something might, just might happen.

Idiot was really my first thought. I made a mental note to kick myself.

I felt a rough but gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Miranda.." Rueben said.

"Hey.." I smiled awkwardly, what was I meant to even begin with, I mean he'd seen me cry, I never let people see me crying, I had always thought of it as a sign of weakness.

"Are you ok? I haven't seen you since the accident, I was assuming you might come by the video shop or something." He smiled his beautiful smile. I was beginning to realise what it was like turning to jelly around guys.

"Hey sexy." Jen put her arms around his waist. He flashed his beautiful smile at her, I was momentarily over come by jealously. The effects of Gordo's weed was beginning to wear thin, I no longer could find all this funny.

"So Miranda…" He said sitting next to me on the sofa. "Are you ok? I know you were pretty shook up." His brow wrinkled in concern like a puppies would.

"Yeah, no, really, I'm fine." I smiled. I wish I could have thought of something better to keep him here talking to me. Jen perched on his lap circling his neck with her arms and lightly pecking him on the cheek.

"Hey Jen, this is Miranda, you know the girl who I was in the accident with." He said "Oh my lord! Miranda, I didn't make the connection, yeah me and Miranda know each other, we've just been having a nice little chat, right Miranda." She beamed at me.

She was making it hard for me to dislike her.

"Miranda used to be like best friends with our little Dave." She giggled.

"No kidding.." He looked at me, somewhat intrigued by this fact.

"Oh, yeah, me and Mir, thick as thieves in the old days right Mir?" Gordo laughed putting his hands on my shoulders.

I didn't like this anymore.. I wished I had just gone home, I would have done anything to get our of this situation. 

"Yeah.." I said with a small smile, "Actually, I think I best be off." I looked up at Gordo. He took his hands back like they'd been burnt, he looked slightly confused.

"Why Mir? Parties only just started" He joked. "Come on stay a bit and I'll walk you home in a little while."

"No, really, I need to go." I said getting up and making for the stairs.

"Bye Miranda.." I heard Jen say. I walked as quickly as I could to the door, momentarily completely forgetting where it was. I eventually found it and let myself out.

"Hey wait up." I heard someone say behind me. "Hey Miranda, hold up" the yelled after me. Every inch of my being wanted to carry on walking, but I turned around anyway. Rueben jogged up to me.

"Didn't leave on my account did you?" I wrinkled my brow at him "hey, chill, I was joking Miranda." He laughed.

"Oh." I smiled. "No, it was just I have to get home. You know."

"Yeah.." He smiled back "Well let me walk you."

"No, its fine, honest, go back." I really really wanted him to walk me "Its far anyway."

"I want to." He touched my shoulder, I shivered at the touch of those hands.

"Oh, well, ok." I had to stop myself from beaming. I also need to stop myself from thinking him walking me home was anything more than pity, guaranteed he had seen the look on my face when I realised he was with Jen, and guaranteed he had realised how crushed I'd felt. He probably felt sorry for the poor little girl who has a little crush on him. My Spanish temper was getting the better of me, I was beginning to fume. I have a problem where as I often just get anger at people when they haven't even done anything, when in reality its often just me being paranoid.

"Miranda?" I looked over at him suddenly aware of his presence. "Are you alright? You seem tense?" I wished I could believe his generally concerned look. I hate how I do this, I let my mind get in the way. I don't trust people easily, once bitten twice shy as they say, I felt so hurt and angry when Gordo and Lizzie had gone off and left me, I found it difficult to trust anyone since then.

"Oh, sorry, I'm ok." I smiled as best I could.

"Your not." He said and stopped and grabbed my arm. "Come on, tell me, I'm pretty good at listening." He grinned.

I laughed, I knew I couldn't just tell him that it was because he actually had a girl friend, and that I had really, stupidly thought something could have happened. I Sighed.

"Thanks for the concern, really, I think maybe I'm still just a bit shook up about the accident." I lied as best I could. Really, until he'd turned up as a physical reminder the accident, school, my family and all the other things that lately had been plaguing my life has cessed to matter.

"I can understand that." He nodded letting go of my arm as we began to walk. "You know got in an accident once, it was scary thinking about how I could have died. You know, its never something I had thought about, I think I'd convinced myself that I would just live a long life and die of old age, but then the accident happened, it really fucked my up for a while." I glanced over at him, he was looking at the pavement with his hands jammed into his trousers. He looked like such a small child then, vulnerable. And I know it wasn't much of a secret what he'd just said, but it felt nice for him to tell me something like that, something slightly personal. It made me feel a closeness that I hadn't felt for anyone in a long time. I smiled, it was nice, it felt human.

"Yeah. It's something like that." I smiled at him, just so he knew I got what he meant. Maybe he didn't feel any emotion then, but when he looked up at me, I felt so connected to him.

The rest of the walk to mine was slow and relatively quite. I felt comfortable with it, silence is something that I can feel comfortable around. It's a welcome change when you come from a family with my mother in to have a bit of silence.

We approached my gate leading onto my lawn.

"This is it." I said

"Home sweet home." He smiled at me.

"Yeah, I suppose, don't know if I would call it sweet or such." I grinned.

There was a pause, where he looked at me, I wanted to hear so much what he was thinking behind those different coloured eyes.

"Looks at though I got you home safe and sound then."

"Yeah, my knight in shinning armour." I felt embarrassed then. He has a girlfriend, and it was probably becoming even more blatantly clear that I liked him. "I mean you saved me and all." I said trying to rectify the situation.

"I know what you mean Miranda." He placed a hand on my shoulder, his hands felt warm and rough against my cold skin, he didn't move it for what seemed like forever. Instead he let it slowly fall down my arm to my hand. "I'm sorry." He muttered.

"For what?" I managed.

"For bad timing, that's what." He replied. 

Long chapter. Ok… So what does everyone think… bit cheesy I reckon, well, no I know its cheesy, it is pure cheese. But I liked the romantic side. Also it's a nice chapter to get myself back into the story. So just tell me what you think. And I will work on it from there. Thank you all. X 


	9. Chapter 9

Authors note: thank you very much to Christylee for reviewing, it was a lovely review, I am sorry about all the mistakes, I'm one of these people who just starts writing and has so many ideas, so grammar and spelling take a bit of a back seat, but I can see how it's annoying, I hate re-reading my work after I've put it up and finding silly mistakes which ulta what I was trying to say in the first place. Ahhh, well I will re-read today, something I never do for some reason. And by the way, any constructive criticism is just fine as far as I'm concerned, so thank you very much, I like to get a sense of what is keeping my story form being good for everyone. I seem to get A LOT of comments about Grammar and such, so it is obviously something I need to work on, which I will try and do in this chapter, tell me how you think I do.

Part of something.

I was in two minds. I was so happy that I was finally, I don't know what you'd call it, reconnecting with Gordo, and that he had even invited me to meet his friends. And then there was the Rueben issue, part of me had wished I had said no to going to Theo's houses yesterday, just so I could have saved myself from the awkward situation I had found myself in.

Last night I literally felt like a ton of bricks had fallen on my head. What the fuck did "for bad timing.." mean anyway?! At least it was Saturday I had the next two day to do nothing but contemplate this and laze around in my P.j's watching bad day time TV, heaven when in comparison to school.

I didn't really know what to do about Gordo, or Dave, it was so surreal that we were even talking again. Last night, on the roof, I had felt like no time had passed at all since we were best friends. Of course it was alien to see him around his new friends, they were so different from people I would have imagined Gordo with a year ago, mainly because that was me and Lizzie. But he seem so much more comfortable and aware of him self now, it was almost like he'd found people he could be like that with. 

I sat down heavily on my bed as the phone rang, it was stupid, but I thought for one second, maybe it was Rueben, I knew in a million years it never would be. He didn't even have my number.

I picked up the receiver wirily.

"Hey, Mir, is that you?" Gordo's voice rang down the line.

"Yeah, hey, Dave." I said, slightly shocked that he even remembered my number. 

"So, yeah, I just wanted to know if you were ok, you seemed to leave in a bit of a rush last night, weren't you having a good time?" He asked, honest concern in his voice.

I admit that the new confident Gordo intimidated me slightly, just because he seemed so sure of him self and then there was me, completely polar opposites, I was completely unsure of myself. My mum maintained I was in my 'awkward stage' I felt like the only one in this stage though.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that, I was having a good time, a really good time." I regretted the enthusiasm that brought, it made me seem desperate and lame, although I was, it was the last thing I wanted to admit.

"Good… So anyway, I was wondering if your not busy today," he probably knew I wasn't, "if you wanted to do something? Maybe go to that café we went to the other day?" was he asking me out?

"No, I mean yeah, the would be good." I replied, trying to detract as much as I could the happiness I was feeling that he was asking me to do something.

"Cool, so say 1:30, in The Green, ok?"

"Yep, I'll see you there then." I said

"Bye then Mir." and the line went dead.

It was completely irrationally but my mind was racing with possibilities, was this a date? Did he want this to be a date? Did Gordo like me? It was improbable by all means, I knew that. It didn't stop me wanted to try and at least look a bit nicer then my usual look.

Rooting around I found all the clothes I had completely forgotten about, the bright colours that used to be continuing theme in my wardrobe, now shoved to the back, to make way for all the new normalish clothes I had brought when my past became my past.

This was truly crazy I thought as I made my way to the bus stop, I look like I am trying far too hard, I sighed as I mulled this over. I was wearing pretty much what I wore to school but I'd gone all out on my makeup, my skin was flawless but I insisted today on putting foundation on, I was wear blush and everything. Part of me was petrified he would notice and wonder why I was trying so hard, and part of me, the part I was trying to completely deny existed, wanted him so notice so badly.

He sat by the window, undoubtedly with a chi tea, I still had no idea what a chi tea even was. He was gazing out of the window, for some reason my mind flashed back to when we were in middle school and how Gordo would just zone out sometimes, and how young he'd look, like a little boy. He saw me and stood up as I walked over.

"Hey Mir, you look really nice." He smiled. I needed have worn blusher my cheeks were doing a good enough job of going red now anyway.

"Thank you, you too." Idiot…

As he stood up and hugged me I realised how tall he's gotten, and how much he'd changed, he hair was still a floppy brown mess of curls, but his face had matured, the bone structure had emerged. My mom had always maintained that Gordo would be a 'handsome young man' as he grew up. I think I'd only just realised she was right. "Sorry." He grinned "I ordered you a black coffee, I thought that's what you would have wanted." It was.

"Yeah, thanks." I smiled. Now the awkwardness of the situation came flooding back to me. What was I meant to say?

"So, my friends all really liked you." He said, breaking the ice, I was secretly elated at this news, I'd been so worried about what they'd have all thought about me.

"yeah, there all really nice, I'm glad you've found such a good group of friends." I realised the awkwardness would now triple, I bet he thought I was trying to make him feel guilty about not hanging round with me for the past year. I bit my lip and looked at the table.

"Yeah…" He trailed off.

Oh god, I am such an idiot, I thought.

"So you know Rueb?" He asked, I was glad he'd said something to be honest, even if this subject was even more complicated then the prior. "Rueben?" He said not thinking I understood the shortened version. I had understood completely.

"Yes, I do, he actually saved me, I nearly got hit by a car and he pushed me out of the way." I said, hoping I hadn't conveyed the deeper feelings I felt for Rueben.

"Yeah, he mentioned that when he came back." Gordo nodded. "So he walked you home?" He questioned, I looked up from my coffee to find his eyes intently looking at mine. This threw me off, I felt like he was inside my brain, listening to my thoughts.

"Yeah, well, I think he was just worried I was still a bit shook up about the whole accident thing." I replied, trying to avert his intense stare.

"Are you?" He questioned, giving up on prying thought my brain and settling for a more comfortable subject. 

"I suppose, a bit, it was a bit of a shock when it happened. You know to think that I could have died."

"Yeah, must have been pretty scary." He smiled a warm smile. I remember all the times we'd had, how much fun we had all had, it made me sad sitting here, with him, but with out Lizzie.

Conversation went smoothly, it was surprising about how much we ended up being able to talk about. It was weird, pretty much since the start of high school, I hadn't been a part of his life and vice versa. I'd thought we were part of two separate, completely different, universes. But now hearing him talk about how awkward things had been, and how much he'd regretted the whole me, him and Lizzie situation. It made me realises how similar our "universes" had actually been all the time.

"So what about you Sanchez." He joked "Any body on the scene for you." I assumed he meant a guy, main problem being I really honestly didn't know.

"No, I've been living in my own personal bubble for the whole year, I don't get the chance to meet any guys." I laughed. But I looked at his face, it looked sad.

"I am so sorry Mir.. I really am, I really just never meant for things to turn out like this." He said looking out the window at the busy street below.

"Don't worry about it." I replied, although it really brought back how much the passed year had hurt, being left all alone, I had been angry and lonely for so long.

"See that's you Mir, your so loving and forgiving. I love that about you." He beamed at me, " you know, I know it doesn't make up for what a bastard I've been too you, but I hope that we can get passed it now, and you know, be friends again." He said, a weary smile on his face. "I've really missed you Mir.." He trailed off, looking at me, as though he were waiting for me to tell him I hated him and would never be friends with him again.

"I've missed you too," was all I really could say. Because I had missed him, a lot.

"So, you know, I was wondering if you wanted to come to this party with me tonight? I mean it isn't going to be anything special, just a few people at Theo's, kind of like last night. So are you up for it?" He smiled at me.

"Why not." I didn't have anything better to do, and I was enjoying being part of something again to tell the truth.

Yet another authors note: So I hope this was liked and grammar and spelling her slightly better, I realises its one of my weaknesses. I did re-read this, I hope that it is slightly less flawed. Reviews, as always, would be nice, just to know what everyone thought and anything people didn't like about it ect... So yeah, Thanks muchly. 


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